In military intelligence, "pattern of life" refers to the rhythms a person doesn’t realize they’re leaving behind—the routes they take, the routines they fall into, the habits that define them. It’s a tool for understanding and predicting. For building context. Sometimes, for targeting.

But over time, the term stopped being just professional language for me. It started to feel personal. Not because I was tracking anyone—but because I realized how little attention I paid to my own patterns.

It showed up in the way I carried stress. In how I danced. In how I lead, or failed to. In how I moved toward or away from people without thinking. My own rhythms were visible. Predictable. But not always understood.

I remember one night during a field exercise in Okinawa. We'd been tracking simulated enemy movement for days—patterns in radio chatter, vehicle routes, the placement of decoys. It was the kind of work that demands focus but can easily slip into autopilot if you're not careful. That evening, after the shift turned over, I walked past a mirror in the head and caught myself standing the exact same way I'd been in the COC for hours—shoulders tense, one foot forward, fingers twitching like I was still tracing overlays on the map.

The posture wasn’t just stress. It was a pattern. It was how I hold control when things feel uncertain. And I'd done it without thinking.

It made me wonder: what else do I do without noticing? What else am I broadcasting?

So this blog is my way of noticing.

I don’t have answers—but I do have questions I come back to often:

• What patterns in myself are adaptive—and which are just reflex?
• How much of leadership is really just rhythm and timing?
• What does it mean to show presence in a moment, instead of defaulting to posture or protocol?
• Where does control serve connection—and where does it block it?

These are the kinds of patterns I’ll be writing through here. Some posts will be more personal—about moments I’ve wrestled with, things I’ve learned the hard way, or just what’s been sitting with me lately. Some posts will touch on warfighting and decision-making. Others on dance, relationships, travel, and the subtle stuff that doesn’t make it into briefings or after-action reports.

Not everything here will be polished. Not everything will be clear. But it will all be honest.

If any of this makes you pause, you’re in the right place. I hope you’ll stick around.

Thanks for reading.

— Lorenz